Saturday, January 07, 2006

A letter from Christian Guys....

Girls, could we talk to you right out of our hearts for a few minutes?
It is awkward for us to talk about something of this nature, in person,
so we thought we would write our feelings.
We are young men who have been saved and baptized in the Holy Spirit.
We desperately want to live for Christ and not follow the ways of the
world. Since we have been baptized (immersed) in a "Holy" Spirit, we
feel in our hearts that we should live "holy" lives. After all, our
bodies are the temple, the sanctuary, the place where the "Holy" Spirit
lives and makes His home.
We know that guys and girls are affected differently, so since we
desperately want to follow hard after God, could we kindly and
respectfully ask you to help us with a few things?
We realize that girls are primarily stimulated or turned on by "touch."
Did you know that guys are turned on by "sight?" So when you are
"aroused" (sexually awakened) by a guy's "touch," we are in the same
way aroused by mere "sight." Let us explain. When we see girls who are
dressed in a suggestive, revealing, provocative, teasing, tantalizing
manner, our sexual desires are aroused. Our bodies are then affected.
To be absolutely candid, let us give you some examples of what we are
referring to. If you are wearing a blouse that barely meets the waist
of your slacks and some of your skin showswhile you are moving around,
or simply while you are walking, sitting, or kneeling, our minds are
geared to wonder what more of your body would look like further
up....This causes our bodies to respond biologically, and suddenl we
are fighting a war in our minds and bodies. And that war of lust is
continuing often long, even hours, after you are gone. We hate this,
because our "righteous man" wants to think pure thoughts....
When you wear low-cut tops which are in any degree revealing, or when
you bend over, and they are revealing, this again causes us big
problems in the flesh. Or if the back is out of your top, we
automatically think that you do not have the undergarment on, and the
Spirit and the flesh begin to fight again. Or when we see any glimpse
of your undergarments, such as straps and the like, we have trouble.
What we are trying to say is this: If it is not for sale, don't
advertise it. We really feel that the still small voice of the Holy
Spirit speaks to you and nudges you when it is too tight, too short,
too low, or too revealing. Will you listen to that voice? For the
Scripture says, "Quench not the Spirit." (1 Thess. 5:19)

Girls, do you know what we would really like? We would like to come
among our Christian sisters and not have to fight and struggle in the
flesh. We do not need to have to wrestle in the flesh at church or at
church activities. We men, whether young, old, single or married, are
faced with this every day among girls of the "world." But we would like
to have rest in our Spirit man when we come among Christian girls.
After all, doesn't the Scripture tell us to "come out from among the
world and be you separate, saith the Lord." (2 Cor. 6:17) It also tells
us that "all that is in the world, the lust of the eye, and the lust of
the flesh, is not of the Father, but is of the world." (1 John 2:15) We
are the church, not the world.
We know that people often use the verse, "Man looketh on the outward
appearance, but God looketh on the heart," (1 Sam. 16:7) to condone
anything they wish to wear. This is one of the most misused/used
out-of-context verses in the Bible. Conversely, the fact is, if your
heart is pure, your outward appearance will be modest....
Girls can be fashionable and modest at the same time. To be honest, we
respect you more when your appearance is modest, as the Scripture
commands in 1 Timothy 2:9. We really do not want the kind of girl who
dresses provocatively, for we know that if we marry her, she will still
be that way in the presence of other men once we are married.
We know that we have Christian responsibilites toward girls, too. We
must be careful to portray ourselves properly. We must treat you like
ladies. If we are really committed Christian guys, we will strive to
treat you like Jesus would. After all, you are daughters of God.
Thank you, dear Christian sisters, for hearing our hearts on this
subject. Once we have conveyed the truth of the matter to you, you
become responsible before God for what you do with the truth. We really
are "our brother's keeper." (Genesis 4:9.) We know that there is a
"cult of conformity" in our generation, but we as Christians "march to
the beat of a different drummer." Please, girls, do not say, "I don't
care," but help us in these last days to live as close to Jesus as we
can. Thank you so much.


Committed Christian Guys"


Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing this! It's something that every woman should read. Where did you get it from? I'm curious :). We're so thankful that our daughter (13) is very modest. She loves the Lord and wants to live a life that's pleasing to Him. We are stunned every Sunday to see how most women at our church dress. We're bombarded enough with immodesty in grocery stores and... well, pretty much everywhere we go. Sadly, churches are no difference :(. I'm thinking about printing this letter out and making lots of copies to hand out at churches :). What do you think?

A sister in Christ (who really likes your blog)

P.S. I also live in Oregon :).

Anonymous said...

Miss Harris, could you please state where this letter came from? I don't mean to offend, but how does one know that it is legit?
-A reader in California

Country Victorian said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. Our family Produced a video to encourage young women to dress modestly and wisely called "Garments Of Praise". We hope to offer it to the public after completion and pray this film will be an exhortation and encouragment to young ladies and their families.

We pray that fathers will take this practicle biblical responsibility seriously when considering what their daughters wear and the effect they may have on others.

May fathers minister strength and hope as their daughters reflect biblical womanhood and modest apparel. May these precious young ladies realize they can powerfully influence the world by taking dominion in area of modest clothing for the glory of God.

Anonymous said...

My husband and two teenage sons would add even more detail regarding the nature of clothing that men find provocative. May I be honest???? Almost any kind of pants provide a line-drive, eye-view to the pubic area, hips, and buttocks. Any kind of shirt/top/dress that allows the curves of the bust to be accentuated, thought covering the flesh completely, is another enticement. Yes, the exposing of literal flesh is a big struggle, but even the FORM of the female body will attract attention. John Newton once said that a woman should dress in such a way that no one will remember how she was dressed. In other words, dress so that you do nothing to call attention to yourself. For a free booklet on modesty, detailed and thoroughly biblical, please send your name and mailing address to

Much grace to you all,
Mrs. K. White

Anonymous said...

Excellent! Thanks for posting such a letter. I want to email it to all my young lady friends to encourage them to either keep dressing modestly or start doing so.

Anonymous said...

Mrs. White, should women wear burqas then because the female form - that God created - is so terrifying to men? I do believe that women should dress modestly, but if a boy chooses to not act in a Christian manner, the girl, regardless of how she chooses to dress, should not be blamed. I also do not want my sons to see women as being "for sale."

Anonymous said...

With great respect to others' opinions, while I agree that even the form of the female body can be tempting to men and we shouldn't be overly bare, even women wearing the shapeless Middle Eastern burka and veil attract men's attention. As a former museum curator who specialized in clothing, I know that 19th century men were "turned on" by the sight of a woman's ankle or bit of lace petticoat. And the slight amount of neck and wrist shown by the fully-covered geisha/meiko were sexually potent. (Remember, men's imaginations are sometimes more powerful than what they actually see with their eyes.) This isn't to say that our daughters shouldn't dress modestly within the norms of our particular culture, but I think we have to be careful about going overboard in either direction. I think only God can give us wisdom about appropriate dress in our particular community. I agree with this letter, though. I've seen too many low-cut, tight t-shirts, mini skirts and even leather(!) being worn by girls in church. Girls and young women, though seemingly sophisticated, are often REALLY naive about the nature of boy's feelings. Our young girls need the gentle but truthful guidance of an older woman to help them understand the effect their clothes have on the guys.

Anonymous said...

I am a 36 and married to a very godly man who has faithfully guarded his eyes. Even though we have a solid trusting relationship, I found being around immodest young women at church so distracting and troublesome, especially since I have a chronic heart condition. After trying many churches over 3 years,searching for one that didn't have this "immodesty problem", I felt like giving up. Then the Lord led us to a Mennonite church. The women are all very modest, yet beautifully dressed.
Though I don't agree on all their doctrines, (especially since my husband is in the military) I cannot say how wonderful it is to worship the Lord freely and to fellowship
without worrying how someone else may be a snare to my husband or children.

Anonymous said...

Thankyou for the encouraging artical. Often times I think us girls forget how much we really affect guys. As a sister in Christ, I want to be able to enjoy apropriate friendships with Godly guys without them being 'distracted'! Thankyou again!

Anonymous said...

To be honest, I am a female and not totally "naive" about the effect that my dressing has on the male mind. I feel that the comments emphasising girls' naivete or innocence in this area are too kind to some girls (since I know what I was guilty of)! =P

Nowadays, even young girls are exposed through ready access to technology and youngsters nowadays are more streetwise about such things than we give them credit for.

What I want to say is, I read Josh Harris' book "Not Even A Hint" , curious as to what a man would think, because I was always having to struggle that if I choose not to "tempt" my brothers-in-Christ, they would pay more attention and be more attracted to those who do .. and that I would be limiting my marriageability quotient.

I thank God for Josh Harris' book, which has great insights for men but also can be relevant to a female like me.
I was reminded to ask some tough questions, which I did :
- at the end of the day, who am I seekin to please?
- In Whom do I trust to make me attractive to people without having to 'compete' in the flesh department? Do I trust God will make it right, really?
- Would I want my future husband or beloved brother or my future young sons to struggle with what I'm causing others to struggle with while they seek to worship God in spirit and in truth?
- What is my heart motive in dressing this way? (not to induce guilt of any kind, but to promote a confident, life-loving, freedom-based form of dressing that can look great yet not cause others' eyes to wander)
- remember, scripture tells us not to put stumbling-blocks in our brothers' and sisters' ways (are we putting stumbling-blocks in our beloved brothers' ways when they are trying to draw near to God not only on Sundays but every day of their lives?)
- How much am I grieving God by stumbling people from getting close to Him?

Also, Sarah, your post reminds me that for godly men that I really really want, though they might be tempted at times by bits of flesh, these are the men who would choose true gentle spirit and modesty coupled with courage and strength in a woman (Proverbs 31).

Anonymous said...

Thank you very much for this letter. Could you post where you got it from, if it is a link? I would like to read more.
I do want to dress modestly. I have found that since I have been dressing more modestly lately, that some guys that I used to hang out with have sort of moved away from me, but others, that are much more respectable in speech and mannerisms have started to come around me more often. My parents are much more pleased in my group of friends now, and I find it much less tempting to be just a little more worldly when I am around them.
But I have also found that it is difficult to find modest clothes to wear, as did Misaki. Misaki, I have found that you can find inexpencive and modest clothes at resale shops. More than half of my closet is hand-me-downs from family who only shops resale.
I also have access to a sewing machine. I have made a bit of clothes that way. If you like sewing, than try making your own. Hope this helps!
I am favoriting this page and I will share it with many of my friends.
Thanks very, very much for this. I will be reading further!
~In Christ,
Lady L'Rae

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the post... an article I have just read which really made me aware of being modest entitled 'Modesty Matters' can be found here:

I hope it is a help to others as it was to me!

Anonymous said...

I think that this was a very good article. There is plenty of gently-used modest clothing available at stores such at ARC, goodwill, or Savers. Many people think that everything there is ratty, but its not. My friends at church and I shop there all the time, and we find clothes that would normally be $20-$50 a piece, and we are buying them for $4 to $8 each! There are ways to dress modestly and not dress frumpy.
Please, PLEASE find and read the book: Dressing with Dignity, by Colleen Hammond. This book lays out everything a Christian woman or man should know about feminity, modesty, and what you can do to bring back godliness into your wardrobes without being frumpy. Please read this book!

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for such an encouraging article!
On the topic of finding modest items: I often go through magazines which arrive through the mail. I found many attractive, modest skirts and blouses in that way. When you see the price, circle it and wait. Later the company will usually put it on sale

Anonymous said...

Most thrift stores have plenty of longer skirts and dresses that are quite affordable.

Rebecca Ugolini said...

This was a really nice letter and I fully agree with it. I try to dress in a way that I like, but which is still modest-and I do not really consider pants of any kind to be modesty in a woman. I'm Catholic, and my standard is: Dressed as I am now, would I be able to walk into Adoration? Or go to Confession, or recieve Communion?

God bless you all. :)

Anonymous said...


There are many places that you can find modest womens clothing. Also do you know someone who would be willing to do some sewing for you in exchange for housework or tutoring their children or perhaps other tasks they may want done? It may take some time and effort but I do know that it can be done. You also don't have to have a whole closet full of clothing start with 3 outfits and build from there, also if money is tight you can often find good buys at thrif shops and secondhand clothing stores, one in the "better" parts of town tend to have the best quaility clothing. I have found great buys at regular stores like Eddie Bauer, Sears Pennys other such stores. Try to purchase basic colors for things like skirts and dresses or suits, then use things like tops and sweaters for adding color to your wardrobe. This will make the basics go futher. TJ Max and Marshalls are also places where you can often find very good clothing at discount prices, sometimes incredibly cheap! Good Luck!

Claraboo the Caribou said...

Hmm, I came across this blog from a link to the beauty video that was posted. I read this "article" and felt it was rather condescending. Why do the so-called Christian "men" get to refer to themselves as "men", but we Christian women are "girls"? Why is the general blame of sexual responsibility on the "girls", rather than taking personal responsibility? I'm all about not dressing slutty and wish more people would be that way also, but it doesn't mean that men don't have equal responsibility.

The tone of the article suggests that "girls" are too naive to know how to live their lives, so we need those "big, strong, Godly men" to help us out.

"If it is not for sale, don't
advertise it. We really feel that the still small voice of the Holy
Spirit speaks to you and nudges you when it is too tight, too short,
too low, or too revealing."

Are you kidding? How degrading can this continue to be? That first sentance degrades women to mere merchandise in windows, while the next insinuates that if we dress in some way that a random Christian "man" doesn't think is appropriate, our spirituality and relationship with the Holy Spirit is in question. I think that Jesus is a little more forgiving than that.

But yet, this is all my opinion and I seem to be in the minority. Just wanted to share a different view...blessings to you all.

Anonymous said...

Anon -

I too am a Christian but I enjoy dressing in women's clothes. It is something that I have done my whole life and really like. My friends never look down on me and some have even shopped with me. But I enjoy it. THought I would share that.

Anonymous said...

Here is another article from a friend of mine, an open letter to girls, which I think does a good job of explaining why a girl should make every effort to be modest even if she doesn't see how the way she dresses should be a problem. The end of the article summarizes with this: "What kind of man do you want? Answer me with your clothes."

I think he does a good job of putting into words some of the thoughts that many Christian guys would like to get across to their dear sisters in the Lord, but don't quite know how to do that.

Anonymous said...

think when sarah harris wrote "If it is not for sale, don't
advertise it." she does not mean that the female is a piece of merchandise. Rather, she means the opposite -- that the female is not a piece of merchandise for sale, and should not allow herself to be treated as such by cheapening herself.

This is not only for "men's" sake (though the ones who are trying to live by God's standard are our Brothers in Christ) , but for God's sake.

God loves us too much to see us cheapening ourselves. In God's eyes, there is no need for us to advertise ourselves like in a shop window , if we are secure in God and we are secure in who we are in God's eye. :) )

Vanessa said...

Ok...first off Im an 18 yr old girl who is able to find clothes that are modest, yes it may be hard but I can find them. The guys arent saying that you need to walk around in nun outfits but what they are asking you to do is help them! IT ISNT THEIR FAULT THAT THEY THINK LIKE THAT!!! Its your fault if you are dressing in a way to cause them to stumble. If you still dont believe these guys you need to read "For Young Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa A. Rice. Really! It opened my eyes.......all the guys asked you to do was not wear low cut blouses, open backed blouses or blouses that are too short so that they show your waist! How difficult is that? Although I do agree with the fact that form fitting jeans just draw attention. As my boyfriend put it, if the jeans are form fitting...theres really no point in even having them on! The only difference between the jeans and your legs is the color. Please think about glorifying God in all you do. Not just with big things like saving sex for marriage but also in getting dressed in the morning. The Bible makes it clear that causing your brother to stumble is a sin. So why do we take so much offense to dressing modestly? You can look cute while still being modest. But trust me....there have been many many polls saying that guys respect modesty. A lot of Christian guys are sick of this but they cant stand up against it because then they'll be called perverts. THEY ARENT! Its like this.....somebody brings in chocolate to a room full of girls and says ok dont look at the chocolate, dont even look like you are looking at the chocolate, and dont even think about touching it, and dont talk about it. And then that person leaves the room with someone else being in charge, and every time you look, talk, think about touching or anything you get into trouble. Well everytime we wear a low cut blouse, tight jeans or a revealing outfit in any way thats what we are doing to the guys around us. Yes, they look away but its hard to forget what you see. And as guys it will end up popping up later in their head or whatever. My boyfriend who is known as an upstanding christian guy struggles with girls being dressed immodestly. Its hard on all guys...I guarentee you more guys notice you then you think, or want. But they dont respect you...if you want respect dress modestly, they may not call you hott...but the word hot is all about outward appearance anyways. Being called hott really isnt a compliment. Now if your called beautiful that is. But if your dressed immodestly you will most likely not be called beautiful. Please think about what your wearing. Also a great way to help you understand how important it is to dress modestly is do you want your husband, boyfriend, son, brother, dad or friend having to deal with sexual images in there head? of other girls? cus they do have to, not that they want to, but they do. So why not be one more person to help out with the keeping your brother in christ's heart pure!

In Christ's Name,

Wenslyn said...

I agree with June when she says the "girl's innocence" comments are being too kind. Girls do know when guys notice them, and they enjoy that attention. However, it would also be unfair to say that these ladies are intentionally tempting their brothers in Christ to sin. Young girls, like all human beings, enjoy being noticed, and somewhere along adolescence, they will subconsiously discover the potency of dressing in more "flattering" clothes. This practice, if unguided, will ultimately lead to immodest dressing.

This post conveys a very important message, but girls must be warned to watch over more than their wardrobe. They must be encouraged to guard their hearts. Young ladies must not have the habit of enjoying attention that comes from the sin of others.

brens said...

Women and girls should take full responsibility for any untoward thoughts that men may have about them. They need to be careful to keep fully covered; not just their midriff area, but also their neck, arms, and legs. Clothing should not only be fashioned to completely cover, but also be loose enough to fully disguise even the feminine shape or form. Bathing suits should always be avoided and even in summer, one should wear long sleeves. In some cases, hair should be wrapped up in scarves or snoods, and should never be allowed to be loose for the view of men.

Everyone knows that men are aroused by even the mere sight of loose hair. We can't blame them or expect them to control themselves. It is their nature and we ladies are responsible for helping men and boys to control their nature.

We ladies need to realize that everytime a man is aroused by the sight of our bodies, we are responsible for tempting him to sin. To remove this temptation, we need to fully cover ourselves. It is fully our own fault if we have not covered up.

Anonymous said...

I am sitting here in disbelief that you think it is a woman's responsibility for a mans thoughts and actions. I believe women who talk like that have been brainwashed and abused. A man's mind is his responsibility. By what some of you are saying these men can't even go to the market or work. They need to stay locked up because women in the work place and at the grocery store do not dress in 100% fully covered, loose fitting clothes. This exact same letter came out in the 70's and was passed around our church. It is nothing new. I think the comments that the women should always wear a dress is way off. Some quote scriptures saying that women should not dress as a man. Well men all over the world except in Western countries, USA and parts of Europe wear robes/dresses. Hmmmmmmmmmmm So what does that leave us to wear, our birthday suits, I don't think so..... Men do not wear pants in many parts of the world. I do not like the fact that women allow parts in front to show or the backless top girls at church. My husband and son try not to pay much attention to them. I say they are either ignorant to what that looks like at church, or weren't taught that it is tacky and distracting; or are not at the same place in life that I am in. I know wonderful Christian women who have lower cut tops than I would ever think to wear and find nothing at all wrong with it. I refuse to JUDGE them over the tops. Girls it isn't our place to JUDGE(condemn) them. Pray that God change their clothing if it is His will. I know this works becuase my old pastors wife changed not only her see through lacey clothing, she even started coming to church from the back door and had dry hair. Prayer works! We need to pray God's will concerning the clothing. Maybe He will change it and may He won't. If we have influence then we might have a chance to say that it bothers us but we have to be very carefull how we approach it. If you offend and a woman walks away and never comes back.................Hmmmmmm makes me think it wasn't worth loosing her.

Just my unhumble opinion,

Anonymous said...

This "letter" is one of the problems with Christian communities. The blame shifts from the guys and their wandering eyes to the girls dress. Now I agree that women should take care with what they wear, completely. But I also feel that too often the women are to blame for the fact that men cannot keep their eyes from focusing on a womans chest. I am not to blame for the actions or thoughts of the men around me - I respect myself enough to dress modestly. Men need to take care of their own sin, and their own hearts and stop pointing the finger at the women around them.
It is this way of thinking that has made the women in the church feel like objects rather than the loved children of God that they are. As to your comment, Pami, about your pastors wife that started "coming to church from the back door," is that the role of women in the church, to hide from the men so that they do not get a hard on from looking at us?!? Come on! We (women) are NOT objects. We are NOT supposed to be treated like that. We are NOT supposed to feel as if our place is to sit back in the corner, silent. Women have a place in the church, we have a right to walk through the front of the door just like any man. If the "Christian" men cannot keep their eyes in the right place, especially in a house of worship, that is between them and God - not the women around him.

Anonymous said...

Do you not think that it should be up to men to resist these temptations?

Three years ago, my younger sister was raped by a man because he found her arousing as she was wearing 'revealing' clothes (not even that revealing - there was no midriff showing). Do you believe that it was her own fault that she was raped because she was dressed a little provocatively? If you do then it brings tears to my eyes to know that people can think this, particularly since I have witnessed the trauma and pain that devastated and almost destroyed my sister.

Women should be able to wear what they like, without fear of prejudice from other women and men, or without fear of being the victims of sexual assault or harassment.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting this!

Sarah Harris said...

I agree, men do have responsibilty in these areas as well. No matter how modestly a woman dresses, there will still be some perverted people who will lust anyway (foot porn is an example of this).

The two links I'm including I would strongly encourage you to read. They are written by men and I think you will find them both to be very helpful.

The Responsibily of Modesty Part 1

The Responsibily of Modesty Part 2

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog and will be adding a link to mine which is also hosted by blogger.

In regards to modesty today, unfortunately it is in a sad state of affairs! I believe that the Christian woman should always be modest & not present an opportunity for sin (their own or someone else's!)

I look forward to visiting your blog often! God Bless!

Anonymous said...

It is selfish for a Christian woman to tell a guy to, basically, "suck it up".
I have three older brothers and all of them have told me about the affects of immodest dressing on them. Each in their different way, as one of them isn't a Christian.
No, it is not the job of the woman to change everything about herself just in case a man will sin, but it isn't Godly, however, to neglect helping them.
1 Corinthianns 8 goes into this. While the ccontext refers to food offered to idols, the message is thr same: "But beware, lest this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak."
Yes, we have the right to dress how we want. Women are not lower than men, just different. However, if our rights as women interfere with a man's spiritual walk, that is when we should question our selfish and firm grip on what is "our right".
I am not trying to judge or condemn anyone with these words; I am simply trying to get women to think in the Christian perspective. There is a line, like in almost everything, where modesty can become absurdity. The point isn't to cover every bit of flesh because men everywhere could falter, the point is to care about the Christian brother around you who may be struggling and wear a cover with your spagetti straps, a longer shirt, or even slightly looser fitting jeans.

Anonymous said...

I think the problem men have with this issue is based more on society. Today in some cultures exposing of the flesh is no big deal. Some cultures long ago the back of the neck or the wrist was considered very sexual. What is modest in one place is not modest in another. And being a female, looking at a good looking guy with clothes on or no clothes on (meaning no shirt) is a big turn on as well. I think there is too much of a big deal made out of nothing. The problem we should ask ourselves and face is how to get men to stop thinking guttural. But as time goes on I think it will. It used to be such a shocker to shoe a knee some time ago. Nowadays...not so much...except maybe in some Islamic countries.

IAN P said...

Great, great blog. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

It is good you are being honest. We need women to be more modest both for worldly and godly men and women. Thanks for the great post. I recently wrote something on modesty on my xanga:
Entitled: Modesty is Important in Today's Society.

I appreciate your article.

Thanks. God bless.

Anonymous said...

I'm not even Christian, but THANK YOU FOR FINALLY SAYING IT. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. We need more action like this to try to drag society away from the clutches of Size 0's and skanky dressing.

Anonymous said...

Just came across this... looks like it was posted a while ago.

I agree... both men and women have their own part of responsibility in this.

Just this morning at church, one of the lead singers wore a top that wasn't real low... but low enough for me, a woman, to notice... so I'm sure a few men noticed as well. So, this [modesty] is on my mind. I am planning on bringing this up with a staff member from our church. I think the congregation as a whole needs addressed too. Summer time brings too many short skirts and more revealing tops and sundresses into the church. I think we can certainly dress beautifully without showing quite so much skin.

I recently listened to a speaker talk about modesty. How much is too much in this culture and in this day and age? She pointed out that when God made the skins from the first killed animals in the Garden of Eden to cover Adam and Eve after they sinned that these coverings would have covered Adam and Eve from the neck to the knee. I think this is a good guideline. Of course, if someone wishes to dress more modestly than that and it is their own choice in doing so than go for it. Oh... and I'm sure animal skin would not have fit too tightly either.

Another comment she made was that God gave women allure. True enough. But allure is like a latern being carried through a straw filled barn, ready to spark into a fire at any given moment (the straw is the desire God gave men for women), and that the glass globe that goes over that flame - the allure - is symbolic of modesty. You're still going to be alluring - keeping that allure for your husband - but the modesty brings you respect and dignity and helps out your "brothers".

Lastly... and I wish I could remember the name of the bishop and I should have written down the quote word for word - if someone knows what I'm talking about, please post - She read a quote from an old bishop that wrote about how the strength of a nation is connected to the dignity of its women. I thought about that a good while.

Thanks for the post, Sarah.

Anonymous said...

As a red blooded male I have struggled with this. Whoever you are you took the words right out of my mouth! Lust is an issue Christian men struggle with. Please do not make it any harder for us. We want to love you but that love has to spring from friendship. How else can you have trust and respect in marriage?

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your sharing we truly appreciate it. As it help us to understand guys better to the next level as at times even if gals try to dress the best we can be however at times we dont' realise it too. but thanks bro~

God bless

Anonymous said...

I don't believe girls think of it that way, especially with low waisted pants and short shirts. Because we are, as you said, affected by touch, we don't think anything of seeing straps and the such. We do notice short skirts and low blouses, however. Thank you for this letter, it has opened many girls' and womens' eyes.

Sister in Christ,


Anonymous said...

I'm a teenage girl and I think this realy makes sense. Many girls just don't realy realise what's revealing and what's ok.I think guys should speak up more about it. We don't want to look trashy, but sometimes we just don't think about it.I just want to thank all the guys out there who are holding on to these Godly principles.

We christian girls are getting a little tired of guys whering their pants below their but!It's realy gross and irritating.And the guys that where girl's pants!!

In Love

Unknown said...

Now where can I meet a guy like this?

Anonymous said...

the kyra above me, i'm also a young teenager and okay so yeah, i agree that christian girls should dress modestly and out of LOVE. i'm sure many of you have heard that the thing to do is ask yourself if your dressing for attention, but i'll tell you the problem with that one. the thing is, you could look at yourself in the mirror and ask youself that question and maybe you say no and truthful, but even if you don't see it as attention seeking, it can still be a stumbling block for guys. which sometimes sucks but if you really love you christian guys friends and any other guy out there, you wouldn't want to the reason some one stumbled.

another thing: you if you GUYS would speak out more, girls wouldn't think that wearing clothes with flesh hanging out is attractive. but yeah, we'd admire you heaps if you spoke up about it.

Anonymous said...

I respect this post but I don't understand it. Isn't facing temptation and resisting it part of the Christian experience? Jesus didn't say to Satan when he tempted him, could you make it a little easier on me--no, he embraced the temptation so he would be closer to God. So while, I'm not advocating dressing like a hooker, the female form is part of life. It is there, regardless of what I wear. So isn't it partly the responsibility of men to resist lustful thoughts? If, as men you cannot do that, when I'm wearing pair of long pants, it suggest, to me, a moral weakness.
I am genuinely curious, not antagonistic. Please don't take my anon post as an indication that I'm not seriously interested in this topic. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I think the problem men have with this issue is based more on society. Today in some cultures exposing of the flesh is no big deal. Some cultures long ago the back of the neck or the wrist was considered very sexual. What is modest in one place is not modest in another. And being a female, looking at a good looking guy with clothes on or no clothes on (meaning no shirt) is a big turn on as well. I think there is too much of a big deal made out of nothing. The problem we should ask ourselves and face is how to get men to stop thinking guttural. But as time goes on I think it will. It used to be such a shocker to shoe a knee some time ago. Nowadays...not so much...except maybe in some Islamic countries.

Similar comments were made by other people.
Men and women are basically different. This is one point which you have to consider when dealing with issues like this. Man's anatomy and woman's anatomy is very different and this is a basic fact which every body knows and choosing to ignore this leads to wrong conclusions.
The problem we should ask ourselves and face is how to get men to stop thinking guttural.
Before saying this, ask how to get women,in the so-called Christian countries, to stop dressing 'guttural'? Dressing like harlots used to do some 70 yrs ago and then accusing men(ofcourse, nothing can justify if a man lusts after a woman, it is his responsibility entirely, I say this a man) of 'guttural thinking' is very wrong.
Do not dress for the sake of men or women. Dress for the sake of holiness. God's standards are absolute and they hold in any culture. Infact, a culture has to be shaped by God's standards and principled. In the eastern countries(like India, where 99% of the people do not know history), they think that they are morally superior to the 'Christian West'. Though, they are very well aware of the wickedness in their land, they do not dress the way they do now in the West and they conclude therfore that they are morally superior. Little do they know that this has been happening only in the past 70 yrs and started when 'liberation of women' and 'hippie movement' and similar things happened.
Now, the Christian world has a problem to get back to the standards that were there before and now all this debate is going on just to determine what's the correct way to dress. God gave us a lot of wisdom. No woman has to wear a burkha, but there bu God's wisdom anyone can tell what attracts attention and what does not show holiness. There should not be a problem at all. If still there is, seek the counsel of God Himself, for He will fill you with the Spirit of wisdom and teach you.
God Bless!!