Monday, December 04, 2006

TheRebelution.com's Modesty Survey

"How tight is too tight for tops? Are jeans with holes in the thighs immodest? Is a purse worn with the strap diagonally across the chest a stumbling block? Are shirts with messages across the front distracting?"
Join other Christian young men and women in TheRebelution.com's new and exciting project: The Modesty Survey. The Modesty Survey allows any girl to submit anonymous, modesty-related questions to Christian guys and to receive (multiple) anonymous replies. It's the discussion you've always wanted to have.
GIRLS: How To Submit Your Questions
If you are a girl and would like to submit your question(s) for inclusion in the survey, please email them to the Female Survey Coordinator, Katrina Rowe: jesusfreakatrina[at]yahoo[dot]com. They must be received by Friday, December 15th, to be considered for inclusion in the survey.

You really may submit any question provided that it relates to the topic of modesty. Through the Rebelution Forum they have already received over one hundred questions ranging from glitter lotion and painted nails to swimsuits and skirt slits.

While not necessary, I would recommend that you register on the forum and join The Attic, the Girls Only area. This will allow you to be directly involved in any discussions which take place in the process of conducting the survey.
GUYS: How To Get Involved
If you are guy and would like to help respond to the girl's questions please begin by signing up for the the forum and joining the Guys Only area: The Garage. The Garage will serve as "brainstorm central" for the male side of The Modesty Survey.

This is an opportunity for you to serve your sisters in Christ. Many girls are without fathers or brothers to advise them in this area. They need input from godly men regarding what is appropriate and what is not. It is not unlikely that this survey will go on to be widely read and carefully referenced.

On the other hand, as Christian young men in a highly sexualized society, this is an opportunity for you to educate Christian women regarding your inner-battle so that they won't unwittingly contribute to your struggle. If you have ever wanted to tell a girl to go put on a sweater, this is your chance to do so -- anonymously.
Help Make It Happen
Please help us spread the word about The Modesty Survey. Feel free to tweak this post and republish it on your own blog or send it as an email to any friends who you think would be interested in participating. Also, you can place a snazzy sidebar ad on your website or blog.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

The Distortion of Beauty

This short video gives us an inside look at the distortion of beauty in today's culture.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Foundations by Melissa Keen

Miss Melissa Keen has graciously given me permission to publish her notes from a speech she gave at a homeschool group meeting I attended in Alabama.
My parents have often told us that they entered marriage and parenthood completely unprepared. Neither of them knew the ins and outs of running a household or being responsible for the lives of others, not to mention themselves.

No time was spent thinking towards the future and the impact that their present actions would have on generations to come. Their preparation years were wasted in being molded, discipled and influenced by the unbiblical thinking of the world and their peers. In raising us, they have constantly reaffirmed that they do not want us to waste our preparation years as they did.

When my parents married, they both disliked children and didn’t want any of their own, probably because they had never had any interaction with children. However, after 7 years of marriage, they realized something was lacking.

With the birth of their first child God did an amazing work in their hearts and brought them into an understanding of what had been missing. They were astonished to realize that, until they had children and a growing family, they had simply been selfish individuals living life to please themselves. They knew then that they wanted something better for their children.

My parents began homeschooling me in 1986, the year my sister was born. Twenty years ago, there were very few homeschoolers to be found. The parents who did homeschool didn’t have support groups or the encouragement of others in the church community. Equipped only with God’s Word and the conviction that He had given them, my parents set out to chart a different path for our life preparation.

Preparing for a different future means preparing today. It means making hard choices everyday that will affect the days, weeks, months and years ahead. This is how our parents trained us to think and act.

Our parents have taught us to think generationally. The choices I make today will impact future generations. When you have a mindset of preparing for your future family, you feel a weight of responsibility knowing that your decisions today will affect the lives of others for generations to come. Not a moment can be wasted. There is not time for foolishness. There is not time for making selfish choices. There is not time to take the easy route. As Christians, we must be about bigger things.

So how does this affect homeschooling?

Education is about discipleship. It is NOT just about learning reading, writing and ‘rithmetic. These subjects are simply tools. They are not the end of education.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 states "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

If these are the times parents are to disciple their children, then when are they not to disciple their children? What times are left?

Government schools, church schools, tutors and colleges cannot ever know your children better than you. They are absolutely incapable of ever seeing the future that you see for your children. That requires individual attention and effort.

Instead, these educational institutions focus on making all students alike – bringing them all to the same level and giving them all the same education; molding them into the same person. The end result is that they are who they have been programmed to be – creatures of their education. They have no vision. They have no individual goals or aspirations. You end up with a society of cookie-cutter citizens. There is no future in that.

Home-education has given our family the freedom to make a different choice. Each person is different. Each family is different. All situations are different. But for my family, we see that it is vital for us to tailor our activities and education to fit the vision God has given our family. Where do we desire to see our families generations down the road? It is our holy responsibility before the Lord to consider this question.

I’m 24 years old. I have a sister who is 20, another sister who is 14, and a brother who is nearly 12. We have all been home-educated our entire lives. For my next sister and I, that included the college years. Our parents have instilled in us the knowledge that we must focus on life preparation above all else.

Rather than attending a college where we would spend thousands of dollars for four years to maybe learn one year’s worth of what we wanted to learn and a lifetime of what we didn’t want to learn, we chose to stay home, under our parents’ direction, for further teaching. In making this choice, we’ve both been able to choose interest-directed studies, encouraged by our parents’ direction.

We haven’t had to study false philosophies. We haven’t had to study to meet bizarre government requirements. We haven’t had to waste our time being who a college thinks we should be rather than who God has called us to be or who our parents have raised us to be.

My sister, Lindsay, is a gifted photographer. Being homeschooled has allowed her to take time and focus her energies into perfecting this skill. She started out her education by asking questions of and tagging along with a friend who is an excellent photographer. Once she realized this was a sincere interest, she took an intense, week-long course in Dallas, Texas.

She is currently enrolled in the New York Institute of Photography as a correspondence student. Best of all, she has had the freedom to learn by practical experience. She has already done 3 weddings, several family portrait sittings, a historical tour in Philadelphia and the surrounding areas, a film festival in San Antonio, two father/daughter retreats at Callaway Gardens, and countless other events.

At only 20 years old, she is called on by ministries and organizations across the country. Her work can be seen on half a dozen websites, and this number is growing.

If she had chosen the route of college, she would still have 2 years of ‘education’ before she was stamped and approved as ‘qualified’. Why waste the time? and why waste the money? Worse yet, why waste all the years our parents have been laboring to mold her into their daughter rather than just another average 20-year-old girl puffed up by a diploma that qualifies her for nothing?

My interests are different from my sister’s. I enjoy photography, but it is more of a nominal interest for me. Instead, my interests have been interior decorating and design, fashion design - particularly historical costumes, floral arranging, cooking, hospitality and music. How many majors would that be if I had attended college? Too many! In attending college, I would have had to severely limit my interests and education.

Just this past weekend, I had the privilege of helping out during an event for Justice Parker’s campaign for Chief Justice of Alabama. About 55 college students had also come down from Liberty University of Lynchburg, Virginia, to help out for the weekend. In the course of my conversations with many of these students, I realized that I never heard a single student say they were happy about being at college.

The conservative students were complaining that life at school wasn’t all it was cracked up to be because they didn’t get to focus on what they came there to learn and were, at the same time, surrounded by a bunch of dissolute peers. The liberal students were complaining that at college they were so restricted that they didn’t get to live the lives of dissipation they had thought they would be free to live. Seeing the lives some of these students were capable of living under these ‘restrained’ circumstances and knowing this wasn’t enough for them was disturbing in the extreme.

When they asked where I attended college, I replied that I had chosen not to go to college for some of the same reasons they were unhappy with their college experience. Instead, I had used that time of my life to study according to my interest and skills.

Under the direction of my parents, I took the many things I was interested in and narrowed the list down to things that were actually practical for present and future use. What were some things that I needed to learn? What were some things that I wanted to learn? Together, my parents and I worked through this list to find the answers.

For instance, I took an intense week-long course on Interior Design that shocked the representative of a four-year Art School who recently contacted me about enrolling in her program. When she asked about my previous experience, I gave her a brief run-down of what I had been taught during this course in Dallas. She couldn’t believe what she heard. From what I understood from her, it would have taken about 3 years in her program to learn what I had learned in a week elsewhere.

I have also been able to take an accelerated course in English grammar and composition to polish my writing and communication skills, as well as a course in floral arranging, each through correspondence.

One other thing that my father desired to have me learn was sewing. This was a bit more of a challenge. I tried taking several classes to no avail. The information just wouldn’t stick. ☺

Finally, I stumbled across Jennie Chancey’s website shortly before she started offering online sewing classes. I immediately signed up and was hooked. One of my greatest joys is historical costuming, but sewing for everyday use is a wonderfully practical skill, too. With this skill, I have been able to custom-tailor clothing for myself and my family, meeting unique fitting needs. I’m now teaching my mother and sisters how to sew. We hope to soon start a home-based Internet business providing attractive, modest, feminine clothing for mothers and daughters.

Each of these skills that I have named are skills that I can use in all phases of life. They are not careers as that is not my calling as a woman. They are not time-fillers or ways of fulfilling myself that I’ll have to then turn around and give up when I marry. They are simply tools to best suit and care for my household. Today, that household is my father’s. Someday it will be my husband’s. In the mean time, I am using all opportunities and every focused minute to further the goal of preparing for the future.

My father’s family lives a life of hospitality which provides ample opportunity for me to practice what I’ve learned at home. Cooking, decorating, communicating, arranging flowers, sewing – all of these things can come into play with hospitality. Not only can these things be used now in my father’s home, but each of them will also be valuable gifts someday in my husband’s home.

The home is the kingdom of the man - whether that be father or husband, we as women are responsible to see that his kingdom is an immaculate representation of him as a man. In this do we bring glory to God’s created order for the home.

Such is my desire in preparing myself for the future. My parents have trained me to have a heart for home. They have instilled in me a desire for being a godly wife and mother someday. Practice makes perfect, we’ve all heard. What better time to practice than now? What better place to practice than home?

What better way to learn how to prepare for the real-life future than through home-education?

I am grateful for the difficult stands my parents have taken over the years. I am grateful for the sacrifices they have made for me and for my brother and sisters. But most of all, I am grateful that God gave my parents a long-term vision for victory and the courage to follow a different path for our family.

I want to close with a short quote from Patrick Henry. Addressing the Virginia Convention he stated, “The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave."

May we all strive to be vigilant, active, and brave. Vigilant in that we remain constantly alert to the dangers of mediocrity. Active in that we work against such in our own lives. And brave in that we dare to take a different path when necessary. Only by taking a different path can we bring glory to a God who has called us apart to be His own people.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Words: Our best friends, or our worst enemies.

Dress
"No heathen god or goddess has ever had more zealous devotees than fashion, or more absurd and humiliating rituals, or more mortifying and cruel penances. Her laws, like those of the Medes and Persians, must be implicitly obeyed. But, unlike them, they change as certainly as the moon. The are rarely founded in reason, usually violate common sense and decency and uniformly common comfort."
~ The Royal Path of Life

"A fop dressed out is like a cinnamon tree- the bark is worth more than the body."
~ The Royal Path of Life

However...

"Dress is a very important matter. An untidily dressed person gives a constant feeling of discomfort to the beholder."


Friendships
"Real friendships are so rare, that when they occur, they are famous. "
~Clarence Day

"A friend is a man who knows all about you, and still likes you."
~ Elbert Hubbard

"Have good friends or have none."
~ Royal Path of Life


Interaction
"It is well to remember that the entire population of the universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others" `
J.A. Holmes

"We cannot choose whom we will love if we claim to be Christians."

Diligence
"Lost between sunrise and sunset.
One golden hour,
set with sixty diamond minutes.
No reward is offered,
for they are gone forever."

"In every triumph there is a lot of try."

"Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive. Easy to govern, but impossible to enslave"
~Henry Brougham

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."
~Thomas Edison

Character
"Fortune does not make men, it unmasks them."

"Only dead fish swim with the stream."

"It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end. "

"You cannot have the power for good without having the power for evil."

"The way to get things done is not to mind who gets the credit for doing it."

"If wisdom's ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care;
Of whom you speak,
To whom you speak,
And how,
And when,
And where...."

"Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable."

"Cultivate only the habits you are willing to have master you."

"Nothing is easy and worthwhile."

Thursday, March 23, 2006

General Rules of Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen

I have a great interest in etiquette and have read extensively on the manners and courtesies of the past. During the past few weeks I have compiled some of the most general rules that feel are still apropos and would improve our behavior in this 21st century as well.

Mannerisms to be carefully avoided by all.….
• Whispering or pointing in company.
• Omitting to pay proper attention to company when entering or exiting a room.
• Giving attention to only one person when more are present.
• Contradicting parents, friends or strangers.
• Laughing loudly.
• Making noise with hands or feet.
• Swinging arms or making awkward gestures in company or in the street.
• Actions that have the most remote tendency to indelicacy.
• Leaning on the shoulder, or chair of another person.
• Throwing things rather than handing them.
• Crowding or bumping elbows.
• Contempt in looks, words or actions.
• Lolling on a chair.
• Looking earnestly in the face without any apparent cause.
• Surliness of any kind (distortion of countenance, and mimicry
• Ridicule of every kind.
• A constant smile or settled frown.
• Lending a borrowed book.
• Dressing in a bright and loud manner that attracts attention.
• Reading when there is company.
• Reading when others are talking.
• Reading aloud without being asked.
• Laughing at the mistakes of others.
• Speaking or acting in anger.
• To neglect little things if they can affect the comfort of others.

Manners appropriate for all…
• To govern yourself and be gentle and patient.
• To remember that as valuable as the gift of speech it, silence is often more valuable.
• To speak with a gentle tone of voice.
• Learning to deny yourself and prefer others.
• Giving applause liberally to others, but only by the clapping of hands and never the stamping or kicking of feet.
• To rise to ones feet out of respect for an older person or dignitary.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

A Real Woman . . .

Written by Philip Hainline, Heidi Reimer, and Maria Reimer at the respective ages of 16, 19, and 17.
A real woman . . .

…is glad she’s a woman and rejoices in her femininity, expressing it through her attitude, appearance and bearing. (1 Timothy 2:9-10)

…does not compete for equality with men or chafe at God’s design for male and female, but delights in and understands the importance of her calling to complement man’s role. (1 Timothy 2:11-12, Ephesians 5:22-24)

…values the cultivation of her mind and diligently seeks after wisdom and knowledge. (Proverbs 22:17-21, 2:2-6)

…realizes her imperative need to allow the Holy Spirit to control her emotions and expressions of them. (James 1:19-20)

…does not wallow in self-pity or make a habit of voicing complaints, but radiates cheerfulness and joy. (Proverbs 15:15, Proverbs 17:22)
A real woman . . .

…appreciates her father’s protection, and respects and submits to his authority. In so doing, she is preparing herself to exercise the Biblical role in her relationship with a possible future husband. (Ephesians 5:33-6:3, 1 Peter 3:1-2)

…is trustworthy and gains the respect of those around her. (Proverbs 31:11)

…restrains herself from listening to, or participating in gossip, but instead speaks with wisdom and discretion. (Proverbs 11:12-13, 22, 20:19, 3:11)

…encourages and builds up those around her instead of criticizing and tearing them down. (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Ephesians 4:29)

…does not have a nagging, contentious or manipulative manner in which she deals with others. (Judges 16:16, Proverbs 21:9, 19, 26:21)

…is not boisterous or loud in her speech or actions but is characterized by a gentle and quiet spirit. (Proverbs 9:13, 1 Peter 3:4)
A real woman . . .

…portrays chastity, modesty and reverence in her manner, and wears the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is her true beauty. (1 Peter 3:3-4, Titus 2:4-5)

…is not offended by respect shown her through gentlemanly courtesies (opening doors, etc.) but cultivates the differences between the sexes that make her worthy of this deference. (1 Peter 3:7, Mark 10:6)

…seeks to make God her number one desire and the Lover of her soul, knowing that only He can fully satisfy. (Psalm 73:25, Psalm 63:1)

…uses her years of singleness to seek and serve God without distraction, and is content to leave the details of her future to Him. (Psalm 73:25, Philippians 4:11)
A real woman . . .

…does not relate to members of the opposite sex in a flirtatious or forward manner, but instead saves all her passion for her future husband. (Thessalonians 4:3-8, Proverbs 6:25, 1 Corinthians 7:1)

…holds her virginity before marriage sacred and will not compromise it for anything. (This one goes for guys too)
(1 Timothy 5:22)
"A Real Woman" in PDF Format for download and print out.
Comment section is open to guys and gals on any issues pertaining to what makes a woman. Disagree with something? Tell us what and why.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

A letter from Christian Guys....


Girls, could we talk to you right out of our hearts for a few minutes?
It is awkward for us to talk about something of this nature, in person,
so we thought we would write our feelings.
We are young men who have been saved and baptized in the Holy Spirit.
We desperately want to live for Christ and not follow the ways of the
world. Since we have been baptized (immersed) in a "Holy" Spirit, we
feel in our hearts that we should live "holy" lives. After all, our
bodies are the temple, the sanctuary, the place where the "Holy" Spirit
lives and makes His home.
We know that guys and girls are affected differently, so since we
desperately want to follow hard after God, could we kindly and
respectfully ask you to help us with a few things?
We realize that girls are primarily stimulated or turned on by "touch."
Did you know that guys are turned on by "sight?" So when you are
"aroused" (sexually awakened) by a guy's "touch," we are in the same
way aroused by mere "sight." Let us explain. When we see girls who are
dressed in a suggestive, revealing, provocative, teasing, tantalizing
manner, our sexual desires are aroused. Our bodies are then affected.
To be absolutely candid, let us give you some examples of what we are
referring to. If you are wearing a blouse that barely meets the waist
of your slacks and some of your skin showswhile you are moving around,
or simply while you are walking, sitting, or kneeling, our minds are
geared to wonder what more of your body would look like further
up....This causes our bodies to respond biologically, and suddenl we
are fighting a war in our minds and bodies. And that war of lust is
continuing often long, even hours, after you are gone. We hate this,
because our "righteous man" wants to think pure thoughts....
When you wear low-cut tops which are in any degree revealing, or when
you bend over, and they are revealing, this again causes us big
problems in the flesh. Or if the back is out of your top, we
automatically think that you do not have the undergarment on, and the
Spirit and the flesh begin to fight again. Or when we see any glimpse
of your undergarments, such as straps and the like, we have trouble.
What we are trying to say is this: If it is not for sale, don't
advertise it. We really feel that the still small voice of the Holy
Spirit speaks to you and nudges you when it is too tight, too short,
too low, or too revealing. Will you listen to that voice? For the
Scripture says, "Quench not the Spirit." (1 Thess. 5:19)

Girls, do you know what we would really like? We would like to come
among our Christian sisters and not have to fight and struggle in the
flesh. We do not need to have to wrestle in the flesh at church or at
church activities. We men, whether young, old, single or married, are
faced with this every day among girls of the "world." But we would like
to have rest in our Spirit man when we come among Christian girls.
After all, doesn't the Scripture tell us to "come out from among the
world and be you separate, saith the Lord." (2 Cor. 6:17) It also tells
us that "all that is in the world, the lust of the eye, and the lust of
the flesh, is not of the Father, but is of the world." (1 John 2:15) We
are the church, not the world.
We know that people often use the verse, "Man looketh on the outward
appearance, but God looketh on the heart," (1 Sam. 16:7) to condone
anything they wish to wear. This is one of the most misused/used
out-of-context verses in the Bible. Conversely, the fact is, if your
heart is pure, your outward appearance will be modest....
Girls can be fashionable and modest at the same time. To be honest, we
respect you more when your appearance is modest, as the Scripture
commands in 1 Timothy 2:9. We really do not want the kind of girl who
dresses provocatively, for we know that if we marry her, she will still
be that way in the presence of other men once we are married.
We know that we have Christian responsibilites toward girls, too. We
must be careful to portray ourselves properly. We must treat you like
ladies. If we are really committed Christian guys, we will strive to
treat you like Jesus would. After all, you are daughters of God.
Thank you, dear Christian sisters, for hearing our hearts on this
subject. Once we have conveyed the truth of the matter to you, you
become responsible before God for what you do with the truth. We really
are "our brother's keeper." (Genesis 4:9.) We know that there is a
"cult of conformity" in our generation, but we as Christians "march to
the beat of a different drummer." Please, girls, do not say, "I don't
care," but help us in these last days to live as close to Jesus as we
can. Thank you so much.

Sincerely,

Committed Christian Guys"